It's Okay to Be Curious *and* Nervous
Trying a toy for penetration for the first time isn’t a performance—it’s a private exploration. You don’t have to “know how.” You just have to be open.
Solo or with a partner, curiosity is the hottest thing in the room.
*Intimate Tip:* Light a candle, take a breath, and say aloud: “This is for me, not for anyone else.”
Clean the Toy First—Even If It's New
Wash it with warm water and mild soap or a body-safe toy cleaner. New toys can carry residue from packaging or manufacturing.
Clean toy = clean confidence.
*Intimate Tip:* Make washing the toy part of the ritual. A little care now leads to more comfort later.
Use More Lube Than You Think You Need
Penetration toys—whether vaginal or anal—are better with lube. Lots of it. Use water-based for most toys, silicone for longer-lasting glide (unless using silicone toys).
Dry play is not brave—it’s uncomfortable.
*Intimate Tip:* Apply lube slowly, while whispering something arousing to yourself or your partner.
Go Slow… Then Go Slower
Start with the tip. Breathe. Let the body *invite* the toy in. Don’t rush. Let muscles and mind catch up to desire.
Control is sexy. So is teasing.
*Intimate Tip:* Say aloud: “Not yet. Just the edge.” Let anticipation build.
Size Matters (Start Small)
Begin with a slim, smooth toy. Save textured, girthy, or vibrating toys for when you’re more confident. Your body needs to learn, just like your mind.
Pleasure doesn’t need to be big. It needs to be *right.*
*Intimate Tip:* Celebrate “small” by saying: “I want to feel *every* inch of this.”
Your Mind Is Half the Experience
Stay present. Breathe. If discomfort or fear pops up—pause. You’re not failing. You’re learning. Invite pleasure in gradually.
This is discovery, not performance.
*Intimate Tip:* Repeat this mantra: “I deserve to feel good—slowly, safely, fully.”
Move the Toy Like a Partner Would
In-out is just one motion. Try circles, gentle thrusts, angling up or down. Your hands can read your body better than most lovers can.
Play like you're writing a love letter inside you.
*Intimate Tip:* Pause mid-play. Ask yourself: “Where do I want this most right now?” Then go there.
Pain Is Not Part of the Plan
Sensation is good. Pressure is okay. Sharp pain or burning? That’s a no. Stop. Re-lube. Breathe. Or try again another day.
Your body’s “no” is sacred.
*Intimate Tip:* After a pause, place the toy against your lips, thighs, or chest. Let the toy reintroduce itself gently.
Use Toys That Are Body-Safe
Stick to silicone, glass, stainless steel, or ABS plastic. Avoid jelly rubber or anything without a flared base (for anal play).
Your body deserves better than bargain bin mystery goo.
*Intimate Tip:* Invest in a toy that feels like *you.* Pick the color, shape, or vibe that makes you smile before it ever touches your body.
Aftercare Is for Solo Play Too
After you play, rinse the toy, cuddle a pillow, drink water. Reflect on what felt good—and what didn’t. Pleasure is also processing.
You did something brave. Honor it.
*Intimate Tip:* End your session by gently thanking your body aloud. It just shared something new with you.